September 2009
31 posts
“We are just like silly monkeys. Silly silly monkeys.”
– My consultant primatologist comments on this story, in the Guardian, on ‘why women have sex’. (via himglishandfemalese)
On my new invention
One of the greatest perils of cycling is not cars (well, I mean, it is cars) but pedestrians: their aptitude for stepping in front of bicycles is remarkable, and as I came to realise this weekend, I think this is in large part because of the fact that if they don’t hear any cars coming, they don’t actually bother to look for traffic.
As a result I have decided to invent a device that you can...
On the end of the night
H: I'm going home.
B: No! Go for bagels with us. BAGELS.
H: No, I'm going home.
B: You want a bagel. [He gently apprehends a passerby] Tell her she wants to eat a bagel.
Passerby: What? A bagel?
B: Tell her to eat a bagel!
Passerby [looking worried]: Bagel? You want her to eat a bagel?!
B: You know, a round Jewish pastry.
Passerby: Oh. OH. I thought you meant a dog.
“The sheer book-length nature of books combined with the seemingly inexorable...”
– (via fluffynotes) This rather disgruntled blog post from former top New York editor Daniel Menaker makes publishing sound like the worst job ever, but it isn’t: it’s simply a job, and if you deconstruct the daily grind of any profession (especially desk-based ones) it won’t sound...
Watchnoraleah:
Will Ferrell and Don Draper are asking you to do your part to protect insurance companies’ profits.
Answer the call, America.
“The first thing Sarah said to me at the hotel was “You gotta cut your hair.” I...”
– Levi Johnston on Life with the Palins | vanityfair.com
The Queensland Opposition Leader carried a teddy... →
(via somethingchanged)
Remarkable.
It's not too late to 'pologise.
I totally disagree with Mr Timbaland: it’s not too late to ‘pologise, because you should apologise whether or not you think it’s going to mend your relationship or give you a second chance or whatever. You should do it because you want to express your heartfelt regret, and the person you’ve wronged deserves to hear it…(more at himglishandfemalese)
“Might our communal antipathy towards Brown in fact be a displacement of the...”
– True confession: I don’t hate Dan Brown | Books | guardian.co.uk
On my new phone
Confession: I have lost three mobiles this year. The third one went in Heathrow when I was en route to Holland, and that was it: having exhausted my stock of old phones, my free upgrades, my flatmate’s good humour (in the spring he gave me a splendid one that he’d designed himself; it fell out of my pocket when I was cycling and got run over by a car) and my insurance entitlement, I realised I was...
The Greatest Near-Miss of All Because No One Was...
‘What do you mean, I was cheating on you? OK, so we’ve been sleeping together almost every night, but that doesn’t mean we were anything more than friends’…(read more at himglishandfemalese)
Death-Knell. Or Death Knell.
“People are not confident about using hyphens anymore,” he said. “They’re not really sure what they’re for.” The greatest hyphenator ever was Shakespeare (or Shak-speare in some contemporary spellings) because he was so busy adding new words, many of them compounds, to English: “sea-change,” “leap-frog,” “bare-faced,” “fancy-free.” Milton also hyphenated a lot (“dew-drops,” “man-slaughter,”...
I watched Match of the Day. Really.
Now, the big story on Match of the Day on Saturday was this player at Man City who used to play at Arsenal but he doesn’t any more and so then he scored a goal against Arsenal and then he ran all the way down on the field and was all, like ‘OH YEAH’ and then the Arsenal fans threw chips at him…(via footbelstein)
Things seen on Brick Lane today while I waited for...
- A dog wearing a scary cage-style muzzle. This reminded me of my beloved Maisie, although her muzzle was very dignified and blended nicely with her fur. Oh, Maisie. I did not pat the dog.
- A guy selling a handful of Sharpie markers to another guy. ‘Ah,’ I thought, ‘Artists. How surprising that they are exchanging art supplies for money like they are drugs or...
“Then there is this: in some way, the quiet terror of severe depression never...”
– Daphne Merkin on her forty year battle with depression | Life and style | The Observer
Probably the best writing on depression that I’ve read: precise and not self-pitying, but true. I’d be interested to know what people who haven’t suffered from depression make of it, however.
“Just outside, on the Tarmac by the jet, Lucy Williams, a 24-year-old reporter...”
– from Tanya Gold’s Mills & Boon book (via The Guardian). (via brokenbottleboy)
This reminds me of my Mills & Boon book, written in the summer of 2002. It was 40,000 words, all written with the express aim of reaching the climactic confrontation when the hero (tall, handsome, bearing strong...
There's a real autumnal chill today, and that...
London is so much better in autumn than in summer: without the disappointment-prompting expectation that it is supposed to be seasonally hot and sunny, it’s easier to enjoy the outdoors, to dress in proper layers, to withstand taking the Tube (and to not have to listen to the summertime announcements warning you to travel with a bottle of water because otherwise you might just die). The daylight...
“What would it look like if colleges did just that? For starters, they would...”
– Combating the Campus Rape Crisis / Jaclyn Friedman, The American Prospect
Brilliant article, although amazing and disheartening that this kind of approach is still rather revolutionary.
“I arranged for you to be invited to a party. When I got there, you were already...”
– Rachel Johnson offers a few home truths: Liz Jones, you’re the Marie Antoinette of Exmoor
Oh, British tabloid rivalries between rich ladies competing for countryside streed cred! I kind of love it, despite myself.
On tapping the zeitgeist
As a writer, it is always nice to know that your work is speaking to audiences. Below find a list of search terms that brought people to this post on my blog in the last two months, indicating - I think - a significant, particular cultural anxiety. Perhaps the topic for my next book?
i love british i love british men american women love british men british men american women do british men like...
JHE Solves Your Relationship Problems: 'I still...
himglishandfemalese:
Dear Jean,
Some months ago my boyfriend left me for a friend of mine. We were living together but I have been abroad this past year (dealing with my father’s estate). Since we broke up, he has stayed living in the house I own, as I am still abroad. I recently learnt, however, that his father (who I dislike intensely) and his new girlfriend have recently moved into my house...
“Many bestselling novelists don’t write short stories,” Stephen King...”
– Just After Sunset by Stephen King | Book review | Books | The Observer
“This is mostly championship sportswriting, with a vividness that seduces even...”
– Manchester United: The Biography by Jim White | Book review | Books | The Observer
On two hours in Amsterdam
Next to the Anne Frank House is a cafe. Bagels and coffee, the sign says. Bagels? I wonder. Surely not a typical food of Holland. I have not seen another bagel in all of Holland. And salt beef sandwiches?
But then it occurs to me that perhaps the entrepreneur reckoned that there are a lot of Jewish people visiting the Anne Frank House, and that Jewish people like to eat bagels, Q.E.D.
It’s...
60 people die a day from lack of health insurance
(via noraleah:squashed)
The number comes from this article on a report that analyzed the different death rates between the insured and uninsured in specific age groups. I simply broke the 2006 annual rate into a daily rate and rounded down. Earlier I inadvertently used the 2000 number and got 49 deaths per day. If a 2009 number were available, it would doubtlessly be higher than 60.
Strained by Katrina, a Hospital Faced Deadly... →
You’ve likely seen this epic piece of journalism, but if not, you must. (via noraleah)