The club sandwich is not a good sandwich. How many times have you thought, Ah, what I would really like right now is a chicken and bacon sandwich with an inexplicable extra slice of toast in the centre. Never. You have never thought that.
But how many times have you found yourself alone in a hotel room, wearing an outsized bathrobe, thinking, ‘Hm, I should eat something, but I can’t bear going to the restaurant on my own at this hour’ and then you looked at the room service menu and ordered what is on every room service menu: a club sandwich. And as you ate it you watched some international 24-hour news channel and watched toast crumbs get tangled in the loops of the bathrobe, and you thought, Where am I again, anyway? Dozens of times, darling. Dozens of times.
