“So anyway, we were talking about my birth plans, which were that S, my sister, would look after T, while me and C went to hospital. I was complaining because S was going away for a weekend, but in fairness, it was 10 days before, and I wasn’t that worried about it. But X said, “Well, you can’t expect her to cancel her whole month, only the one day,” and I said, “Not exactly, X, only 5% of babies actually arrive on their due dates. You have to have some leeway,” and he said, “What about C?”, and I said, “C will be with me. C is my birth partner. That’s how it works these days.” “Huh,” said X, as if I was being incredibly high-maintenance. “I’m not being high-maintenance. That is how it works.” “Huh,” he said again, as if I’d just rung C from the hairdressers and made him come home from work to pick me up, because it was windy.”
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Zoe William on birth-partner etiquette
Too many intials here (what’s wrong with giving the special people in your life hilarious pseudonyms like ‘Hortensius’?) but there’s something a lot more wrong with the degree to which people seem sceptical that women need all the support that they can get when they are giving birth. I mean, of course I have never done it and therefore cannot guarantee one hundred percent that I won’t decide to me one of those free birthing mothers (OK, no, I can totally guarantee that, I’m too squeamish) but every other time that I have been in hospital for anything that made me bleed a lot or required the application of horrible medical instruments, I’ve found it crucial to my well-being to have people who love me there to offer support. That anyone should regard this as too much to ask makes me confused.
