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newyorker:

In honor of Thanksgiving: Confessions of a Pilgrim Shopaholic
“I tremble for my influence upon my children. Just this morning, young Abigail came to me and said, ‘Mother, look. I have made a doll from a small rock. I will call my doll Rockelle.’ Of course, I struck her and grabbed the rock from her hand, saying, ‘Be ye the Queen of the Nile, with such gilded pleasures?’ I will confess only to this diary that I have kept the rock for myself, and married it to an acorn, which I have named Mister Joseph Elmsford. Has my evil no limits?”

newyorker:

In honor of Thanksgiving: Confessions of a Pilgrim Shopaholic

“I tremble for my influence upon my children. Just this morning, young Abigail came to me and said, ‘Mother, look. I have made a doll from a small rock. I will call my doll Rockelle.’ Of course, I struck her and grabbed the rock from her hand, saying, ‘Be ye the Queen of the Nile, with such gilded pleasures?’ I will confess only to this diary that I have kept the rock for myself, and married it to an acorn, which I have named Mister Joseph Elmsford. Has my evil no limits?”

  9:01 pm  |   November 24 2010   |  110 notes   |  View comments  

  1. thoughtsofadyingperson liked this
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  3. pedaltothemetalmylucktothetest reblogged this from newyorker and added:
    full article. i read...a few years ago. it is pretty funny.
  4. andreafandrea liked this
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  6. kuida0re reblogged this from newyorker and added:
    new yorker has a tumblr :’)
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    “wanton enjoyment...unnecessary” stuffing.
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  22. anokarina reblogged this from newyorker and added:
    am Rebecca, the wife of Mister Jonathan Harnsill. We arrived in the New World in 1626
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    Happy Gobble Gobble…
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  44. dailytomatoes reblogged this from newyorker and added:
    That’s messed up
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  46. fergmus reblogged this from newyorker and added:
    remember reading
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